Let's vent together

So turns out the kid Code named “Beanie” really is a kid. He’s about 18 or 19 years old. Wtf. When I found out I totally felt like a creeper. And now everything makes sense as to why he never came over and talked to me after I went and told him I thought he was cute. He’s a child! Ugh, dreams crushed.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing anything right and that I haven’t really gotten anywhere. People I knew four years ago are graduating from college and I’m still working my ass off full time with only my basics done. It sucks when I think of it like that but then other days I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be and that everything is alright. I’m a manager of a great salon. I pay for all my own things. I love what I do for now, and it works for me. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to the accomplishments of others, considering that we’re all going in different directions but it’s hard. We all have our own issues but how great would it be to say “I’m graduating from college”. I’ll be there someday, I know it. And that’s okay because I know it’ll be the right time for me. In the mean time I’ll try to not let the accomplishments of others get me down.

Well damn I know that I haven’t been to this place in like forever but I thought that this stupid ass trend would have died down by now. Most of the dudes here and wearing ball suffocating skinny jeans with boots that are so pointy and long that the toe of their boot comes up to about their waist and to top off the look, they wear cowboy hats that are so small they just barely sit on the crown of their heads. Wtf dudes it’s just not cute. I’m so glad my dude doesn’t dress that way. Don’t get me wrong, he wears skinny jeans, just not ball clenching ones that leave you thinking “damn dude, those jeans are definitely not worth your manhood”
Anyway I’m out to see my mom have a good time. This is the last place I would try to find a boyfriend and anyway I have my loving boyfriend and I don’t have to question his sexuality :)

It could have been 6 and a half years by now. I really did love that kid. Thought the dude and I would end up happily married with kids and all that. Hmm kinda sad by I guess there’s a reason for everything. He’s not the guy I see myself with anymore. We’re at different points in our lives and it just wouldn’t work out. I still love the guy but I’m not in love with him and so I guess I should close that chapter fully. I hate leaving things unfinished but every bit of me wanted to hold on to him because he was everything I knew. Now I see that’s not the best thing for us. I’ll always be there for him and I hope that he’s always there for me too. I wish nothing but happiness for him. Like I said I love the kid but I’m not in love with him. He’s a great guy and I hope I never lose him.

I read the first one when I was in elementary school, about 11 or 12 years old. It was assigned to the whole class. It was fairly new I suppose. And from that moment on I was hooked. First chapter book I was able to read outside the bible when I was still living with my grandma. She said as long as I didn’t believe in things I found in it that I could continue reading them. What she didn’t know was that I full heartedly believed from the moment I picked it up. That was my home. My escape from the real world, From the sheltered life I lived, It was something unlike anything else. I received the last on on my 18th birthday. Read it in a few days. I wanted so bad to read the whole thing in one day but yet didn’t want it to ever end. Waited in line for 14 hours to see the midnight premier of the DH Part2, we were first in line actually. Totally and completely well worth it! Refused to believe it was over. Didn’t really get depressed because to me it wasn’t over. Now almost a year later it’s hard to even watch a movie because I know deep down that it’s really over. It’s been there for me longer than anything or anyone outside my family. It’s my second home. If you don’t understand it’s okay just don’t judge me and call it stupid simply because you don’t get it. With that said Sitting here watching Harry Potter and the deathly hallows part 1 is not easy.